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What is "phubbing"? -

Have you ever been hanging out with someone and they can’t stop looking at their phone? Or felt that your partner is ignoring you because they’re too engrossed in Instagram?

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Amalgamation -

If so, you have experienced phubbing. The term itself is a hybrid created by merging the words "phone" and "snubbing."

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Too interested in their phone -

Essentially it refers to situations in which a person is so consumed by what is going on with their phone that they ignore the present company.

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Common problem -

It is very common. With more than 90% of the US population owning a cell phone, for instance, this 21st-century problem is everywhere.

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More serious than it sounds -

While it may sound quite trivial (the name doesn’t help), phubbing can actually have disastrous consequences for relationships, particularly when the problem is chronic.

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Relationship consequences -

On one hand, phubbing can mean less relationship satisfaction, since the person being phubbed is made to feel unimportant.

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Less relationship satisfaction -

When we feel unimportant to our partner, we feel less connected to them. This ultimately leads to less intimacy and affection.

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Less trust -

Phubbing can also result in a lack of trust between partners, as well as problems with face-to-face communication.

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Negative feelings -

Indeed, if you spend too much time focusing on your phone, your inattentiveness can cause your partner to develop feelings of resentment and jealousy.

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Not only romantic relationships -

So far, we have talked about phubbing in the context of romantic relationships, but it is important to note that it can happen in any sort of relationship, romantic or platonic.

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Consequences for mental health -

As well as negatively impacting our relationships, phubbing can have serious negative consequences for our mental health.

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Evidence -

Studies show that regardless of whether you are the victim or the perpetrator, phubbing can cause anxiety, depression, and loneliness.

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Mental health of victims -

In the case of victims, the connection between phubbing and mental health issues seems clear. In the case of perpetrators, it is a little less obvious.

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Mental health of perpetrators -

However, it is important to remember that humans are social creatures and we thrive on interacting with people around us.

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Missing out on intimacy -

When we spend too much time immersed in digital friendships, we miss out on the critical intimacy component of an in-person relationship.

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Signs to look for -

If you suspect there may be a case of phubbing in your relationship (whether you are the phubber or the phubbee), there are certain signs to look for.

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Being glued to the phone -

The first warning sign is when the person you are with always has their phone nearby, or even in their hand.

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"Hold on" -

Another red flag is if one person repeatedly tells the other person to "hold on" while they are replying to a text or social media post.

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The effect -

By telling someone to "hold on," we are communicating to them that whatever is happening on our phone is more important than their company.

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Visible anxiety -

When someone is a phubber, they will often get visibly anxious or distracted whenever a notification flashes up on their phone.

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Unable to resist -

They may not be able to resist opening the notification and shifting their full attention away from the conversation and to their mobile phone.

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Preference for digital communication -

Another symptom of phubbing is when a person feels more comfortable communicating with you by phone than in person.

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Change in communication channels -

They may start to prefer reaching out via social media as opposed to meeting up for an in-person interaction.

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Getting defensive -

Finally, someone with a phubbing problem may get defensive when you try to talk to them about the problem and how it makes you feel.

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Possible addiction -

People can actually develop an addiction to their phones, and may act like an addict when you confront them about it.

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How to work on the problem -

If you are looking to reduce or eliminate phubbing in your relationship, there are certain things you can do.

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Put your phone on silent -

A great first step would be to put your phone on silent and out of reach whenever you are hanging out with the other person.

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Simple but effective - A simple intentional action like this can help to redirect your focus away from your phone and towards the person who deserves your attention.

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Do some soul-searching -

You may also spend some time thinking about why you are phubbing. Delving a little deeper into your behavior can help shed some light on what you need to change.

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Seek professional help -

Finally, if the problem is very serious, you may consider getting professional help. As mentioned, screen time can be an addiction, and seeing a therapist can be useful. 

Sources: (Verywell Mind)

See also: How endless scrolling through social media can make you sick (literally)

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